our salvation
by Sane-in-Insanity
Summary: Dean/Castiel — Don't cut yourself for me.


_Note: End 'Verse fic._

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**our salvation**

_Don't cut yourself for me._

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When the beginning of the end starts, Castiel knows there is no going back.

It is the end of everything as Castiel knows it; Lucifer's rise wreaks havoc on Earth and Heaven, unleashing all breeds of evil to feast on God's worldly creation. Humans die by the thousands each day; angels abandon Heaven and perish into oblivion.

Castiel is supposed to leave with his brothers, too. It is sheer coincidence that he is on Earth, travelling in his vessel that his existence is preserved in the human body, even when his Grace is torn away in a burst of blind agony, replaced by a gaping abyss that beckons Castiel to throw himself off the brink.

In the first moments of being human, Castiel is wrecked, frightened, irrational. Amongst the confusion and anguish and lost, insanity threatens to consume his mind, but Dean is there to put the pieces back together, cutting himself with each piece. Dean doesn't say anything, though. He merely smirks that sardonic smirk of his—a defective pretense of a broken man.

Castiel doesn't say anything, either; there are no words Castiel finds sufficient for what he wishes to convey. He shuts himself in completely, wordlessly going through the motions like a dysfunctional contraption.

Dean doesn't give up on Castiel for one second, though.

One night, after Castiel and Dean return from a raid, Dean grabs Castiel on the shoulders and pushes him against a wall.

"What is _wrong_ with you, Cas?" Dean hisses, his grip tight and demanding.

Castiel looks at Dean, but he doesn't really _see _him. Castiel rarely sees nowadays. "Nothing is wrong with me." He absentmindedly wonders what Dean is up to. Dean has never been the type to talk about _things_, and Castiel has been more than happy to follow that arrangement.

"Talk to me, man. This silent and brooding thing you're pulling, it's not gonna solve anything!"

"What would you have me say?" Castiel asks flatly.

Dean looks genuinely lost. "I don't know—anything! At least channel your frustrations in some way. You don't wanna talk? Fine," he growls. "Hit me."

Castiel blinks. "Why?"

"Just fuckin' do it, you son of a—"

Castiel draws his fist back and punches Dean on the jaw. His knuckles scream in protest, but Castiel ignores it. Dean stumbles from the force before regaining balance, wiping blood from his lips and staring at Castiel, bracing himself. Suddenly white-hot with anger, Castiel charges at Dean and throws another punch, and another, and another until Dean is bruised and bloody and Castiel is gasping for breath and his vision blurry from tears. He wipes them away furiously.

"Feel better?" Dean asks with a pained smile, wincing when a cough racks up a spurt of blood from his mouth. "Man, I almost forgot how scary an angry nerd angel could be."

Castiel's eyes widen in horror. "Dean, I'm—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—please, I—"

"It's fine, Cas. _I'm _fine," he says, "What's a little bruise compared to the end of the world?"

Castiel looks away, ashamed.

Dean approaches Castiel and tilts Castiel's head up to meet his eyes, fingers surprisingly gentle. "Hey, look at me," he murmurs, bloody lips inches away from Castiel's. "I _allowed _this to happen, okay? Don't feel bad."

Castiel stares at Dean's green, green eyes, and without a second thought, his hand cups the side of Dean's neck and he presses his lips softly against Dean's, tasting blood. Castiel can feel Dean's pulse racing behind his fingers as he pulls away slightly. "Do you…allow this?" Castiel asks, quiet and tentative, afraid to look at Dean in the eyes because of what he might see in them.

They are both breathing loud and hard and fast and the tension is taut as a stretched string, their bodies a hair's breadth from touching.

After what seems like eternity, Dean succumbs. "Yes," he breathes hoarsely.

Castiel finally brings himself to meet Dean's gaze, and is surprised to see the need and hunger in them. "Thank you," Castiel whispers and presses himself against Dean, kissing him fully on the mouth—

—and this time, there is no hesitation.

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_I hope you liked it :) Please don't fav without leaving a review~_


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